In the heat of passion, reaching climax might be the goal for many. However, withholding this release can often enhance pleasure, leading us to the intriguing concept of orgasm denial. As the saying goes, patience is a virtue, and this certainly applies to orgasm denial (pun intended, of course).
Moreover, I truly consider orgasm denial and orgasm control as a fundament of every female-led relationship. Nevertheless, even in a common relationship, orgasm denial for your husband is an amazing approach to heavily spice up your sex life.
The Idea of Denying a Man’s Orgasm
Astroglide’s sexologist, Dr. Jess O’Reilly, says, “Orgasm denial is a common aspect of BDSM, where arousal is sustained without culminating in orgasm.” As the dominant partner, I often arouse my husband to the brink of climax, only to shift gears, slow down, or halt stimulation entirely to prevent his orgasm.
This technique can be applied regardless of gender, asserts Laurie Mintz, Ph.D., sex therapist and author of Becoming Cliterate. “Knowing your partner’s arousal cues can greatly enhance the experience,” she suggests. “Alternatively, the submissive partner can vocalize when they are nearing orgasm, making the practice more approachable for new partners.”
Why Should You Consider Denying Your Man?
The reasons are plentiful: It might be to exercise control (the main reason in my case), prolong the sexual experience, savor the phases of arousal prior to climax, or intensify the final orgasmic release.
There are several ways to experiment with orgasm denial, and I’ve outlined my 7 favourite techniques below.
Orgasm Denial Technique #1 — Edging
Edging is the practice of repeatedly bringing your partner to the edge of orgasm before finally permitting it. Often suggested to enhance orgasmic intensity, it pairs well with orgasm denial. Each time your husband nears climax, lessen your touch, change the stimulation, or even stop momentarily. Then resume and repeat until you decide to grant his orgasm. “Edging can amplify arousal, making the eventual orgasm even more powerful,” explains Dr. Jess.
“You can achieve this in a variety of ways – through intercourse, stopping just as your partner nears climax; using a vibrator or other sex toy; through oral or manual stimulation; or a combination of these,” adds Mintz.
Orgasm Denial Technique #2 — Setting A Time
Another technique involves designating a specific time when your husband is permitted to have his next orgasm, says Dr. Jess. To avoid constant clock-watching, set a timer. This can ensure a prolonged, enjoyable experience.
From our experience, it is essential to start with small steps, like two days, and then constantly increase the duration. The man will quickly realize that with every increased duration, the final orgasm is getting better.
Orgasm Denial Technique #3 — Using A Code Word
If power play excites you, establish a code word or signal that, when given, allows your husband to climax. This is a technique that can be perfectly combined with the other approaches.
Moreover, it is one of my favorite things since it increases the power you have over the man. In our relationship, Max is not allowed to come without my permission.
Orgasm Denial Technique #4 — Placing Limits On The Orgasm
You can also attempt orgasm denial by limiting stimulation to certain body parts typically associated with orgasm, like the penis. Whether or not he can cum in this manner, your husband might discover enjoyment in other erogenous zones.
Again, this technique is something you can combine with the others. For example, you set a time of two days. Once the two days are over, give your husband a handjob for only 2 minutes. If he doesn’t manage to cum you stop, and he is not allowed to continue.
Now, you increase the time limit to 3 days. However, you give him a handjob for three minutes after three days. And so on 🙂
Orgasm Denial Technique #5 — Setting Conditions On The Orgasm
For instance, you might request oral sex or a certain phrase. You can determine these conditions beforehand or spontaneously decide what your partner must do before they’re permitted to orgasm (assuming they consent to these terms).
Once again, this is something you can combine with other techniques and holds so much potential to explore.
Orgasm Denial Technique #6 — Employing Restraints
If BDSM elements appeal to you and your husband, consider using restraints like handcuffs, blindfolds, or ropes to prevent self-stimulation. “Prior to engaging in this, it’s crucial to have a thorough discussion, establish a ‘safe word’ (which allows your husband to halt the activity at any point), and decide if an orgasm will be permitted eventually.
Orgasm Denial Technique #7 — Chastity
Finally, my favorite one (as you might already know). Using a chastity device is certainly the ultimate denial. Moreover, it is, from my point of view, the perfect toy to practice orgasm denial.
Just imagine all the games you can play. Here are a few examples:
- He has to wear the chastity cage and has to satisfy you orally.
- He has to the chastity belt and watches while you are pleasuring yourself.
- Or take even the next level, where he has to satisfy you with toys like strap-ons or dildos but has to wear a chastity cage at the same time.
The options are limitless. From my perspective, this adds even more spice to the orgasm denial game. And, of course, you can combine the chastity cage with all the beforementioned techniques.
Some Final Thoughts
Knowing that you have a partner who is capable of controlling your body in this manner can be incredibly arousing. Likewise, having the ability to dictate another person’s pleasure can be a powerful experience.
I can definitely guarantee that purposefully delaying orgasm leads to more potent, prolonged, and profoundly satisfying orgasm, both physically and psychologically.
Always remember to ensure mutual consent when introducing new practices. If things don’t unfold as expected, maintain a sense of humor and relish the unexpected. After all, the journey is just as important as the destination.
Enjoy your denial 🙂
Much love, Julia.